Saturday, September 17, 2011

Because I Have Emotions Too...

I'm posting something more on a personal matter today so sorry there's no music related topic for now. 

Since I got here at my grandparents' house, I've been holding back my tears and stopping myself from breaking down. As some of you may know, my lola (grandmother) passed away and it's been hard for me... for all of us. I just found it hard on my part to even see her coffin... much more to see her lying down inside it so until now, I haven't looked at all. I just can't. I don't think I can take seeing her in that state. I don't want that image burned inside my head. Maybe later before she's taken down I may look but I don't know yet. It's just really hard. I have so many memories of her that I don't want to add a negative one wherein she's lifeless in a coffin. But then again, maybe after writing this post, I may have enough strength to do so. I don't know. 

It seems like I'm just waiting for her just like any ordinary day here where she's seated outside the patio in the morning or afternoon or hanging in her sari sari store where she's all powdered up with baby powder up to her neck plus a healthy dash of perfume, while humming some tune. Or if she see's me straight from bed, she then asks the help to set up the table for food. Good times. I'll always remember her also in her seat at the dining table with the whole family around her.

I will miss her laugh.

She had a hearty one.

I will miss her laugh.

Posted via email from silverfilter living

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